Real estate jokes!

The jokes below are not mine, but my collection. These are the funniest joke from my list.

The talking clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night Roger led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests asked. “Well, that’s my talking clock,” Roger replied. “How does it work?” asked one of his friends. “Watch this,” he said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “Hey jerk! It’s 2 in the freaking morning!”

The frog prince!

Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: “Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I’ll be returned to my former state!”
One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman said, “Didn’t you hear him? If you kiss him, he’ll turn into a real estate broker!”
The second woman replied, “Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate broker!”

The Bible text conversation!

A real estate agent was knocking on doors of homes in his farm area. At one house it was clear that someone was at home, but his repeated knocks at the door went unanswered. So, he took out one of his business cards and scribbled “Revelation 3:20″ on the back of it, stuck it in the door, and went about his rounds.
When he got back to the office the next day, the receptionist gave him a business card. It was his own, and he recognized the “Revelation 3:20″ he wrote the day before. In a very neat handwriting, a cryptic message was added: “Genesis 3:10″.
Later, when checking the Bible verse, he couldn’t help but break into gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.”
Genesis 3:10 reads: “I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.”

No respect yow!

A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to a young sales rep, “I want to sell my house you son of a b…..” A little astonished the agent replies, “I beg your pardon sir, I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?”
“Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my bloody house!” “I’m very sorry sir, but we don’t tolerate that kind of language in this office”, he says, calling the manager over.
The agency manager comes out: “What seems to be the problem here?” “There’s no damn problem,” the man says, “I want to sell my bloody riverfront mansion.” “I see,” says the manager, “and is this young bastard giving you a hard time?!”

 Hope you enjoyed reading it! :D